To be silent is comforting, it feels safe, it feels stable, but silence can also be suppressing. I'm very observant, I love watching people, things, colors, movements, places. I can smell, and feel, and touch, and know so much from all of my senses. I have so much data, so much knowledge, so much in my mind, just being collected, collecting, like treasure, and collecting, like dust. I've always had a difficult time expressing verbally, of my thoughts, my emotions, myself.

I realize I carry an innate fear of being misunderstood, being wrong, being misinterpreted, being received negatively. A fear so immense, it turns to anger and sadness when I am being misconstrued. I wish to be received as I am, and if I am not, I wish to not be received at all. So instead I choose silence, I choose safety, I choose comfort. And even though I know what I need to do, what challenges I shall take on, I procrastinate. I procrastinate myself into stagnation, a slow-mo within. I rock myself into vocal atrophy, and dull my knives of creation.

One day, I decide different. I decide to own my voice, my thoughts, my emotions, myself. I promise myself to be braver than I have been before, to become acquainted with discomfort. From that moment on, the lingering emptiness within begins to shrink, and the voices full of questions begin to fade. I am the only seer of my full-essence outside of God, and nothing, not even my opinions about myself, can change who and what I am.

When your soul, your spirit is being stopped from expression, it is also being stopped from growth, and from receiving the gifts the Universe has been desperately waiting to bestow upon you - connections, expansion, abundance, and infinite opportunities for growth. You are intrinsically denying yourself of your worth, and there's nothing more dangerous to a soul than atrophy. It only takes a split second, or a moment of eternity, to redirect your mind and decide, to move forward, to let the air in.

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